


Knowing And Understanding

by Nightwinging_it



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Fluff, Gen, M/M, Post Hunting the Archon, ryder just really needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 11:27:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17866382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightwinging_it/pseuds/Nightwinging_it
Summary: Reyes Vidal is getting worried when the Pathfinder goes to infiltrate the Archon's ship but doesn't contact Reyes to tell him he's back safe, when he suddenly gets a message from the Tempest's doctor asking him to come to the ship.





	Knowing And Understanding

                Being the Charlatan meant Reyes Vidal had a lot to keep him busy.

                But no matter how much work he had to do, he couldn’t stop thinking about Scott Ryder.

                Scott had told Reyes that they were infiltrating the Archon’s ship. Reyes knew what that meant; a chance the Archon would discover them, and kill them.

                He tried not to think about it. He tried to think about the last time Scott had visited Kadara instead. He could remember the taste on his lips that night, starting out with whiskey and ending with Scott. The feeling of the other man in his arms, body shaking with laughter. Alive. Happy.

                It had been too long since he’d last heard from Scott. He checked his email terminal again.

                There was nothing there, so Reyes picked up the closest bottle of alcohol he could find and took a swig to calm his nerves. He’d understood right from the beginning that they both lived dangerous lives. Either of them could die at any time. Reyes could have his throat slit in his sleep tonight. Scott could be shot to death walking back to the Tempest.

                Reyes thought he’d made peace with that knowledge, painful as it was. But something about this mission, about how long it’d been since he’d last had contact with Scott, was setting him more on edge than usual.

                His email terminal pinged twice and he spun around, immediately accessing it, his heart sinking. Neither sender was Scott.

                The first was just about a small smuggling job. Reyes replied to it, and opened the second message, the name of the sender sounding familiar. His heart stuttered in his chest as he read through it, though.

   _To: Reyes Vidal_

_From: Lexi T’Perro_

_Mr. Vidal,_

_My name is Lexi T’Perro, the doctor in charge of the Tempest crew. I’m not sure if the Pathfinder has been in touch with you since his return, but the Tempest is currently docked at Kadara Port and I’d appreciate it if you could come speak with me on it. Thank you._

_Lexi T’Perro_

                Reyes sat down heavily. Scott was alive. But then, why hadn’t he called Reyes?

                Reyes got up and hurried out of Tartarus. Leave it to Scott to cause him more anxiety than relief with the news that he was alive.

                He took the elevator out of the slums, trying to compose himself. Scott was alive, and well enough that the doctor thought he might’ve contacted Reyes by now. If it had been something serious, she surely would’ve given him at least a subtle warning.

                Still, he walked at a quick pace to the docks, to where the Tempest sat docked. He’d never been aboard the ship before, only watched it come and go from the Port. He knew Scott’s crew didn’t trust Reyes, especially now that they knew the truth of his identity. Scott might’ve forgiven Reyes for lying about being the Charlatan, but the crew surely hadn’t.

                That didn’t matter, though. Something was going on. So Reyes boarded the Tempest, adopting a casual attitude as he did so.

                Cora saw him first. She immediately lifted her gun, pointing it at him.

                “What are you doing on our ship, Vidal?” she demanded.

                “Why, I have an invitation,” Reyes said, letting an easy grin slide onto his face.

                “Ryder would’ve told us you were coming,” Cora said.

                “Ryder didn’t invite him. I did.”

                The asari walked forward, eyes on Reyes. She turned her gaze to Cora, though, gesturing at her to lower the gun.

                “I asked him here so I could speak with him, Cora. I should’ve warned the crew,” she said.

                “Why would you bring him here, Lexi?” Cora demanded.

                “Because I think it’ll help,” Lexi said.

                A look passed between them, which only set Reyes more on edge. Cora holstered her gun, which was always a good sign, at least.

                “I don’t think this is a good idea, Lexi. I don’t trust him,” Cora said.

                “Ryder does,” Lexi said.

                Cora just gave a stiff nod and walked away without another word. Lexi approached Reyes and held her hand out.

                “I apologize for that. I didn’t think you’d come so quickly,” she said. “I’m Lexi T’Perro.”

                “Reyes Vidal,” Reyes said, shaking her hand. “What’s this about?”

                “Let’s go to my office,” she said, and led him through the ship.

                Several of the crew eyed him suspiciously as they walked past, but didn’t say anything. He could see Jaal and Liam whispering back and forth, narrowed gazes locked on him. He just kept his head up and followed Lexi, carefully composing his expression to one of ease.

                When they finally reached her office, he was relieved to see the beds in there empty. So this wasn’t about Scott being badly injured.

                “Please, take a seat,” Lexi said.

                Reyes sat down, and Lexi sat across from him. He arched an eyebrow, waiting for her to speak.

                “Mr. Vidal-” she started.

                “Reyes,” he corrected, because if she kept talking that formally he was going to feel like he was getting bad news. Maybe he was, but it would calm his nerves if she didn’t talk to him like a doctor about to announce Scott had some terminal illness.

                “Reyes, then,” she said. “Has Ryder been in touch with you since his return?”

                “No,” Reyes said, shaking his head. “He’s getting lazier, it seems.”

                But her expression didn’t do wonders for his nerves. “I see. He…went through a lot on that mission. If he wants to share that with you, that’s his decision to make, not mine. But I can say that I’m worried for his mental health. No one on the ship seems to be able to help. I hoped you might be able to.”

                “His mental health?” Reyes had been fearing physical harm, even death. He’d never stopped to think Scott would return with wounds none of them could see.

                “I asked Kallo to dock us on Kadara Port because we’d be safer from the kett here, but also because I felt you might be able to help Ryder. He’s hiding it well from the heads at the Nexus, but those of us spending so much time around him here know he’s acting strangely. More distant. He keeps insisting to all of us that he’s fine, but I fear what it’ll do to him mentally to shoulder this alone. All I ask is that you talk to him,” she said, and stood up.

                “Well, I’m very good at talking,” Reyes said, and also stood. “Where is he now?”

                “I’ll take you to his room. He hasn’t left it much since getting back from that mission,” she said, leading Reyes out of her office.

                They reached a door and she stopped. “This is his room. What you choose to tell him about why you’re here is up to you. I’m hoping you know what’s best for him to hear right now. Thank you for coming, Reyes.”

                She left, and Reyes knocked on the door. It was a few moments before it slid open.

                “Reyes,” Scott said in surprise. “What…What are you doing here?”

                He looked horrible. His hair was messy in the way it got when he ran his hands through it. There were dark marks under his eyes, and his face was pale.

                “What, no hello? I risked getting shot by Cora for you,” Reyes said.

                “You’re lucky she didn’t actually shoot you. You should’ve told me you were coming. I’m surprised they let you on to the ship,” he said, letting Reyes into his room and sliding the door shut again.

                “I’m very good at getting my way,” Reyes said. It felt easy to stand there and tease Scott. But easy wasn’t going to get him answers. “Why didn’t you tell me you were back?”

                Scott sat on his bed. “I was going to. I’ve just been busy.”

                “You’re the Pathfinder. You’re always busy. You still somehow always find time to send a quick ‘Hey, still alive by the way’ message,” Reyes said, and sat next to him because he didn’t want to tower over Scott like this was an investigation. He put a hand on Scott’s thigh, letting it rest there, a gentle touch. “What happened?”

                “We found the way to Meridian. We rescued Drack’s scouts and the salarian ark,” he said, but his voice was tired, not triumphant. “It was a success, overall. Casualties, of course. But we’ve been suffering those since we reached Heleus.”

                “Anyone from your crew?” Reyes asked.

                Scott shook his head. “No. The salarian Pathfinder and some of her people. There was…I had to make a choice. I chose Drack’s scouts.”

                “There’s more,” Reyes said. In all their time together, he’d learned how to read Scott. And he could tell that Scott was hiding something from him now. “Hey,” he said, putting his fingers under Scott’s chin and turning him so they were looking at each other. “No hiding the big stuff, remember?”

                Scott’s shoulders slumped. “I remember.”

                He didn’t want to tell Reyes. Reyes wanted to give him his space on the issue, but he also knew that he wasn’t going to be able to help if he didn’t know.

                “Scott-”

                “I died.”

                Reyes paused, frowned. He thought the words over, let them echo in his head. He looked Scott over, watched his chest rise and fall with each breath. It simply didn’t make sense.

                “I think we have very different ideas about dead. Normally when someone dies, they don’t get to tell someone ‘I died’,” Reyes said at last, because his mind would not let him comprehend the statement.

                “SAM killed me,” Scott said, looking away from Reyes and gazing off into the room blankly. “He stopped my heart. I was dead. It took two tries to bring me back.”

                His grip on Scott’s thigh tightened. “SAM…killed you? You died?”

                “No hiding the big stuff,” Scott said dryly. “If SAM had failed to revive me, my friends most likely would’ve been exalted. Drack’s scouts. The salarians.”

                He’d died, and was torn up because if he hadn’t been revived, others would’ve suffered.

                Reyes stood up suddenly, pacing back and forth because he felt like he was going to scream if he sat still. Scott watched him pace, not saying anything.

                Scott, who spent more time laughing and teasing than any man Reyes had met before. Scott, who could be so kind despite how ruthless he’d had to become to survive his enemies. Scott, who had forgiven Reyes and given him a trusting, open relationship.

                Scott, who was so selfless that he was more concerned about others than the reality of his situation.

                “SAM can kill you!” Reyes said at last, clenching his fists like he was going to storm out of here and fist fight the AI.

                “To be fair, he asked first.”

                “Scott!” Reyes snapped, glaring at him. “Shit, I don’t know if that makes it worse. He can kill you. You let him kill you.”

                “I had no choice. We were bound and it was the only way to free myself and the others,” Scott said, looking exhausted again. “I didn’t tell him to kill me because I thought it’d spice up the mission a little.”

                “He asked this time. But what happens when he doesn’t ask, Scott?” Reyes said. Anger seeped in where desperation didn’t dare to tread. Reyes could shoot enemies all day long, but he couldn’t save Scott from the AI in his head.

                “I stopped the Pathfinder’s heart with his permission. It was the only option available at the time,” SAM responded.

                “SAM, I think it would help more if you stayed quiet right now,” Scott mumbled. SAM didn’t speak again.

                “You didn’t tell me SAM could kill you,” Reyes said, body trembling with anger.

                “To be fair again, I didn’t know,” Scott said. “Even if I did, what was I supposed to say? ‘This is my AI, SAM. He can help me access remnant technology, stop my heart and kill me, and also he tells bad jokes.”

                “This isn’t funny, Scott!” Reyes said.

                Scott stood up and put a hand on Reyes’ shoulder. “I know, Reyes. But if I don’t turn it into a joke, I don’t know what else to do with it. I trust SAM. I trust he won’t hurt me.”

                “The quarians trusted that the geth wouldn’t hurt them,” Reyes said flatly.

                “SAM is different. He was created with the intent to save my mom,” Scott said. He squeezed Reyes’ shoulder. “Reyes, he won’t hurt me. Even if he decides he’s sick of me insulting his jokes and takes me out, there’s nothing anyone can do.”

                 Reyes gestured to Scott’s exhausted form. “It’s clearly been on your mind.”

                Scott dropped his gaze again. “No. I mean, yes, I’ve definitely thought about the fact that the AI in my head can murder me if I tell him to shut up on a bad day, but-”

                “I have no desire to harm you, Pathfinder,” SAM said.

                “Thank you, SAM, I appreciate knowing you don’t intend to kill me.” Scott turned his gaze back to Reyes, sliding his hand from Reyes’ shoulder to his back and drawing him closer. “SAM wouldn’t benefit from my death. We’re linked together. I’m not worried about that, Reyes.”

                “Then what are you worried about?” Reyes asked, his anger fading as he looked at Scott’s expression.

                “I knew the Pathfinder was important. I knew a lot was at stake. I knew that, Reyes. But I don’t think I really understood it until I woke up on the floor of the Archon’s ship and saw my friends bound before me. If I fail…” He shook his head slowly. “If I fail, so many people will die. Maybe everyone will die. I can’t fail. I can’t die, not yet.”

                Reyes pulled him close and held him, because it was all he could do. Nothing he said could take away the truth of what Scott was saying. Knowing it was one thing, understanding was a whole other weight.

                The stood together for a while, just holding each other. Reyes finally moved his hand to Scott’s neck, but pulled it away when Scott winced.

                Reyes turned Scott’s head and examined his neck. “What happened?”

                There was a mark there, tiny but badly bruised. Like a needle had been roughly jabbed into his skin.

                “The Archon wanted a souvenir,” Scott said, rubbing his neck and wincing again. “He wanted to study me.”

                Reyes felt that anger rise in him again. He could have his men follow the Pathfinder’s crew from afar when they were on Kadara, but he couldn’t protect Scott off of Kadara. The Archon had planned to use Scott as an experiment. SAM had killed Scott.

                Reyes had been on Kadara, checking his email the whole time. Useless. So useless.

                “Reyes,” Scott said, putting a hand on his cheek. “I’m alive. I’m in your arms, not the Archon’s.”

                “I sure hope so. I’d like to think I’m much more handsome and charming than him,” Reyes said. Scott was right; if Reyes didn’t turn this into a joke, he didn’t know what else to do with it.

                Scott smiled, and it was small but genuine. “I don’t know, that Archon’s pretty cute. If you’re into murderous aliens who want to steal your genes and exalt you.”

                “We all have our kinks,” Reyes said.

                Scott laughed, a sound that took a weight off Reyes’ chest. Reyes kissed him, putting a hand on his chest to feel his heart beat steady beneath his palm. Scott kissed him back, drawing Reyes closer to himself. They were both alive. They were together. They didn’t know what the future held, but Reyes couldn’t bear to think about it. He just wanted to think about that steady thumping under his palm and the familiar press of lips against his own.

                “I’m sorry I didn’t let you know I was back,” Scott said once they’d pulled away from each other. He paused, frowning. “How did you know we were on Kadara Port? And that I was back?”

                “I’m the Charlatan; I have ways,” Reyes said. He would tell Scott the truth later. Right now, Scott needed to rest.

                Reyes took Scott’s hand and pulled him over to the bed, pushing him onto it and curling up next to him. He held Scott against his chest, returning his hand to Scott’s chest to feel his heartbeat.

                “I finally get you in my room, and it’s for an emotional chat and then a nap,” Scott said with a sigh.

                “It seems storage rooms really are our place,” Reyes said, kissing the back of Scott’s neck gently. He hated seeing that sprawling bruise surrounding the puncture mark. He tightened his hold on Scott a little.

                Scott put a hand over Reyes’ and let his head fall back against Reyes’ shoulder. “For the record, I do think you’re more handsome than the Archon.”

                Reyes couldn’t help his smile. Scott was alive and in his arms, acting like his normal self. He kissed Scott’s hair and pulled the blanket over them.

                Scott fell asleep in his arms, and Reyes closed his eyes, taking comfort in that heartbeat beneath his hand. He would be there for whatever Scott needed, be it someone to fight alongside him or just someone to listen to him.

                He fell asleep to the steady rhythm of Scott’s heartbeat.

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written any Mass Effect fanfic before, so I really hope I got the characters right!


End file.
